An American's Guide to 'Speaking British'

As I get ready for my upcoming trip to London, I've started brushing up on my British English language skills. "What? British English language skills? Don't the Brits speak English?" While the Brits do in fact speak English, you'll find that it's not quite the same English that we speak here in the States.

So before you pack up your briefcases, suitcases and backpacks, take the time to review some of these popular British words, phrases and slang or else risk making an arse out of yourself across the pond.

• 24 Hour Clock: Americans know it as "military time", but don't refer to it that way in the UK. This is particularly useful when navigating public transportation as well as hours of operation for tours, museums and shops.
• Bank Holiday: Make sure you aren't out and about during a "bank holiday." Banks of course, and most businesses are going to be closed. Bank holidays include New Year's Day, Good Friday, Easter Monday, two Bank Holidays in May, one in August, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
• Big Issue: If a homeless person comes up to you shouting "Big Issue!", don't fret. "Big Issue" is the UK equivalent to the "Spare Change" newspaper, which discusses the issues surrounding homelessness. The homeless people generally make about a quarter for each issue they sell, so don't be afraid to help them out.
• "Last Orders Please!": "Last Call" in a bar. Order your last beverage now! The bartender will then shout "Time!", which means that it's too late to order another drink. You now have about 20 minutes to finish your drink. This time period is known as "drinking up time."
• Fag: Cigarettes.
• Cinema/Film: If you want to go and see a movie at the movie theater...you really want to go see a film at the cinema.
• Fruit Machine: Slot machine.
• Cashpoint Machine/Hole In The Wall: ATM
• Holiday: Once you arrive in customs, the customs agent might ask you the purpose of your visit. If you're on vacation, avoid confusion and say that you're on "holiday."
• Lift: If you're looking for an elevator, you should probably ask where the "lifts" are instead.
• Mobile: Cellular phones
• Notes: Bills (paper money) are referred to as "notes".
• Post: In the UK, the mail is known as "the post." The post arrives in the morning. You can drop it off in a postbox located on the street corner.
• Pub: The pub is the cornerstone of British social life. Every town has at least one. Locals frequent their neighborhood pub for a pint and a pie.
• Queue: In the UK you never "stand in line." Instead you "queue."
• Reception: Need fresh towels brought up to your hotel room? Don't bother looking for the number to the lobby. You're far more likely to find the number to "reception."
• Shopping Trolley: Shopping cart
• Tube: In London, the subway is referred to as "the tube" or simply as "the underground."
• Way Out: Don't freak out if you can't find "the exit." Look for signs that say "way out," and you'll be just fine.
• Loo: Looking for the bathroom? Ask where you can find "the loo," toilet or restroom. You might see signs that say "WC" or "water closet."

Knowing these basic British words and phrases will help you get by on your trip to the UK. Don't worry if you can't remember all of them. Chances are, someone will know what you're getting at if you mistakenly ask where the "bathroom" is. Just be prepared for a funny look or raised eyebrow.

Traveling with Cash or Credit?

Ah, one of the age old questions when it comes to traveling; a quandary as perplexing as the chicken or the egg… okay, maybe not age old, but certainly an issue worth addressing.

To be fair, and to be honest, there is not one right answer to this question. Traveling with cash boasts advantages and disadvantages, depending upon where you are. When traveling internationally, we have all been warned to keep personal belongings protected and in the line of sight. While this warning should truly be heeded anywhere, traveling with cash will serve you well in many foreign countries. For example, in many parts of Africa local currency is the monetary measure that will reward you with the most lucrative deals.

However, traveling with credit cards in your possession is generally always a smart idea. Unfortunately, you could become one of the unlucky souls that is blindly robbed of all of your cash. When I was abroad in Paris, I sadly encountered such an experience in an Internet café. I never even realized that anything had been snatched from directly beneath my nose until a couple of hours later… so much for booking that trip to Italy! Yet, I was saved by the backup credit cards that I had brought along with me until I could re-establish the source of my cash flow.

Filling out credit card applications can help you to determine which card may most optimally benefit your traveling needs. As there are a variety of credit card options available today, including those boasting low APR, rewards, and balance transfers, it can be difficult to decide which card will be most suitable for your unique situation. Allow yourself the opportunity of traveling affordably and of benefitting from your adventures by taking the time to fill out a credit card application.

Photographers: Stop, Don't Shoot!

"Seriously, if you take that picture, I'm going to put a hex on you."

How many times have you been in the situation where you literally want to rip a camera out of someone's hands so hard that you're willing to sacrifice grace, dignity, and your physical well-being in exchange for a tiny electronic device? This tends to become an issue the morning after an inebriated evening. You wake up all jolly, just so excited to see all of the great memories that you've captured from the previous night's festivities, and then there it is. That first picture forever freezing you in all of your glory. And then comes the rationalization: But at the time, I definitely WAS a sexy vixen, right...Mom?

While there are many a moment where I've certainly regretted jumping into a polaroid or allowing friends to take a "hilarious" [read: humiliating] video of me in action, there were definitely measures I could have taken to prevent the inevitable [embarrassment] from being both recorded & released by the PapaRazzi. Additionally, while here in the good ole US of A, we just love to razz one another for a good laugh at each other's expense, it can be a very different story abroad.

Regardless of where you may be traveling, it's absolutely vital to ask permission before photographing anything, especially people. While photography certainly boasts a plethora of advantages including sharing the world with others & capturing memories, it can be viewed as intrusive by those that know nothing about you. Asking permission is just a common courtesy that is well received anywhere - it helps to boost confidence & to connect with others. Believe it or not, in some places, taking pictures of people translates to stealing their souls. Unsolicited photography may also render people inferior, as if they're just another monument, piece of scenery, or animal. It is imperative to be open-minded when it comes to photographing abroad, and to thank your subject whether s/he allows you to take the picture or not. Additionally, don't be too hasty to photograph in international airports. Just follow the literal interpretation of these two words, "Ask" "Permission", and you should be golden.

For more specific information on this subject, Darren Rowse provides solid advice in his post "Asking Permission to Photograph People".

Bolting Down to Sevilla: the Semi-Super Sonic Way

Gooooo. My brain feels like...um...uh...goo. I have to catch a train to Sevilla in 45 minutes, and my brain feels like G.D. goo. This has inevitably happened on any trip that I have taken where my plans haven't been "set in stone." While the opportunity for spontaneity and (oh yes) ADVENTURE are great, there are these types of moments where the night before was a wee too long, and the train the next morning had to be scheduled a wee bit early. In these situations you need to make a decision: hit the snooze button and sleep two more hours - heck the town/city you're in has to have some hidden charms. Or, you get your butt in gear, forgo the shower, pray you've packed everything, and get yourself to the that train, ferry, or airplane.

On this particular morning my friends and I had already booked first class tickets on AVE - Alta Velocidad Espanola  the high speed train from Madrid to Sevilla, and we were running low on travel days before we had to fly back to Dublin - we were going to be getting on that train. A mini mental breakdown, some cobblestone streets, and a helpful cabdriver later, we had arrived at Atocha train station (one of the two main train stations in Madrid) with a solid 8 minutes to spare...just enough time to take a snap shot of Ali in from of some trains:

Now let me tell you: the extra effort was most definitely worth it. This was hands dow my numero uno first class train experience. Yes, it is only one of two first class train experiences, but lady has seen olde tyme movies, I know what it is all about. This extra HIGH Molly rating isn't due solely on my relief in actually catching the train, it is for the overall experience:

1. Roomy & Comfortable seats

2. Relatively quiet cars

3. Yummy adult beverages - my appreciation for Bailey's on the rocks grows

4. Only a 2 1/2 hour trip sans the aggravation of driving, and dealing with a rental car.

Beyond all of this, the scenery along the way is extremely pleasant, and both train stations are easily accessible via public transportation, because of their central location. The extra price we paid could have definitely been avoided had we booked in advance, and were willing to spend a little extra time getting to Sevilla. However, we had no problems booking the tickets just a day before our trip in a tourist office just around the corner from our 'youth hostel'. I would caution that we were traveling in November, which isn't a peek travel month in Spain. If you are more schedule inclined, then I would take a gander at this website: www.refne.com (the Spanish national railway company  website) or www.raileurope.com. This will give you rates and timetables for the Madrid to Sevilla train.

Little Red Couchette: Surviving an Overnight Train to Marrakech

A couple of weeks ago, I had described our fine dining experience during our brief tour of Tangier - remember the mayonnaise massacre? In any case, following our little food foul, we boarded an overnight train to Marrakech. It was the cheapest and most logical transportation option given our timing and itinerary. And in our minds, it also signified the opportunity for an adventure.

Four people per couchette. The way it worked out, we were given a full cabin & then two of us would have to volunteer to sleep with a couple of strangers. Done. Well before the trip, Lauren & I decided to roll the dice and bunk up with a pair of whatever was in our God-given plan. Two twenty-something females barely above 5 feet, we were our posse's sacrificial lambs. No big deal, it was an honor.

As we set foot onto our moving bed and walked down the narrow hallway to our couchettes, it was evident that everyone was a tad uncomfortable. Our car conductor took our tickets, and then hurriedly guided us toward our sleeping quarters with a bit of a heavy hand. It was quite difficult to understand him. He acknowledged this. He removed his ashy cigarette from the grip of his teeth, reactively breathed a cloud of smoke into my mug, and spoke louder while widening his deep, brown eyes as if that tactic unlocked my newfound key to translation. We'll take our chances. The couchette numbering was in English. Lauren & I say goodnight to our friends, and enter our couchette only to find that one of our bunk-mates was already situated. He was a gentle, older man from southern Spain. While he couldn't speak a lick of English, we knew how to butcher Spanish well enough to hold a polite conversation with him. Enter Swiss hiker. He knew some English. We exchanged pleasantries and then Lauren & I continued our game of Rummy 500 on our top bunks. Before packing it in for the night, I decided to venture out of the couchette to locate a bathroom. Option #1 had water seeping out from underneath the door. I'll pass. Option #2 smelled of a scent [read:repulsively pungent odor] that I hope to never accidentally inhale ever again. I'll forgo my hygienic routine for the night. Gum, mints, and anti-bacterial lotion will have to suffice.


Now, we were lucky in the sense that neither of these two men seemed as though they wanted to maim us in any way or had the intention of stealing our large, blue backpacks, ladies pants, or passports; however, the Swiss hiker had essentially no problem getting NUDY HUX in the presence of complete strangers. I, fortunately, had the front row seats to this peep show as he was sleeping directly underneath Lauren. She got to creepily watch the precious, old man snooze while I had the pleasure of drifting off to the sweet sounds of a nearly naked man's snoring. Normally, the "birthday suit" ensemble wouldn't be a problem for me, but given the circumstances, I just didn't feel like we were ready to take it to that next level. Oh well- you win some, you lose some.

After a long night of sleeping with one eye open, our conductor - still smoking - raps on our door to inform us that we're rapidly approaching our destination. We jump down from our bunks and join the wise Spaniard in the hallway to catch our first glimpse of Marrakech. The sun was beating down across the endless scape of flat land.. my first thought? Thank goodness there aren't any hills.

I thought you should know.. tips for traveling on an overnight train in northern Africa:

• Change into your sleeping attire prior to boarding the train (it will help in avoiding awkwardness among potential couchette-mates).
  
• Perform your hygienic routine prior to boarding (including anything requiring a need for water).
  
• Use the lavatorial facilities prior to boarding (can you identify the theme here?).
  
• Smoking is allowed. If you're in the market for clean air, consider other transportation options.
  
• Invest in a fanny pack. Place money, passport, & other essential documents inside. Zipper it up. Wear this around you & underneath your clothing during your sacred slumber.
  
• Don't drink the water. Enough said.
  

Happy Trails!

Awareness Abroad: Knowledge of Your Cultural Surroundings

All too often do we hear tragic tales of incidents that occur to unsuspecting tourists while abroad. I'm going to go out on a limb here, type a bold statement, and say that many of these treacherous acts can likely be avoided when the necessary precautions have been taken before traveling to an unknown place. Of course, while the specifics of these critical steps indeed vary from location to location, the constant lies in doing your homework.

In a time where uncertainty and terror plague our world, it is absolutely vital that we're familiar with the culture, tradition, language, history, religion, economics, and politics of each destination we plan to visit. Being an expert in all of these elements is not a prerequisite for traveling, but keeping an open and educated mind is undoubtedly crucial. In my personal opinion, there is no greater insult to a group of people than ignorance and disrespect.

Sure, we all enjoy the softer side of traveling.. the romanticism, sightseeing, socializing, fancy hotels, room service, local cuisine.. however, in order to experience something real, it is imperative to immerse oneself within the respective culture. Living like a native defines true travel.

To make light of the concept of cultural differences, it doesn't take a genius to know that you wouldn't wear the attire you'd sport in a New York night club in the midst of more conservative Middle Eastern countries. Communication is key. Understanding interactions and how they can be misconstrued between various cultures is also a factor to take into consideration. For example, in the US, a firm handshake is often interpreted as a sign of masculinity whereas in Africa, a limp handshake signifies the appropriate way to complete this action.

In our day & age, there truly isn't any excuse for lack of preparation when it comes to trip planning. With so many valuable resources available from travel guides to books to internet articles and much more, cultural information is easily accessible in today's society. Some of the more popular references include:

• National Geographic: Travel & Cultures section.
  
• Wikitravel: Valuable resource, broken down by country & city.
  
• Frommers: Community & Forums sections.
  
• Lonely Planet: Thorn Tree Travel Forum.
  

If you know of other credible resources, please share in the comments below - the more aware & educated we all are, the safer we'll all be.

Algarve to Sevilla. The Bermuda Triangle of European Transportation

In their infinite wisdom, the governments of Spain and Portugal decreed that there should be no direct rail connection between the Southern Algarve region of Portugal and Sevilla, Spain. Really making it the Achilles heal of one fabulous vacation, and causing it to be the only time I have seriously thought 5 ladies with huge backpacks might potentially make a pact to eat my first born child - ha - that's not true, there have been plenty of people who have made that pact.
It really all started with hours of careful planning to get our bodies from Lagos, Portugal to Sevilla with the goal of NOT spending a ridiculous amount of money on transportation, and NOT spending 12 hours of our precious vay-cay time making what should be a 3 hour trip. Let me first lay down some rudimentary knowledge on you, so if you should ever decide to make a similar trip (and oh for sweet baby jesus you should), there won't be any pacts made.

You might be thinking: "Molly, get a freaking rental car, and call it a day!" Wrong-o, boy-o! You will quickly find that taxes and fees for international rental car drop-offs are astronomically high (even between E.U. countries). In the spring of '08 (this year) it was going to be over $1,000 TOTAL for a four day rental of a four-door manual compact (www.arguscarhire.com actually had the best prices I could fine for Portugal). Don't be fooled by initial costs, they will stick-it to you just as you are getting super psyched that everything is going to work out.

With both trains and rental cars out, the only other affordable option I found (via the internet) was to take a bus. Even this option provided very few bus lines, departure terminals (direct), and departure times. Here are the handful of companies who "said" they make the trip: Rede Nacional de Expresso, Linsesur and Eva Bus. I ended up selecting Eva Bus, because they had the perfect timetable, responsive email customer service, and I noticed they were mentioned in several blogs and guidebooks. So, my perfect planning in place, the only thing left to do was to call and order tickets once we arrived in Portugal - damn international phone rates, damn them to hell.

Flash forward two months to find out via the concierge at my hotel in Lagos, Portugal that in fact no buses run between the Algarve and Sevilla on Sundays (apparently "daily" in Portuguese means any day but Sunday). No matter who we called or what insane ideas we came up with, nothing seemed to work out (shuttles weren't reasonable, there weren't any accessible rental car companies across the border in Spain. NOTHING). Then, a ray of hope - a Spanish company called Alsa departing out of the Portuguese border town of Vila Real de Santo Antonio. Everything seemed legit, and ready to rumble. So, we got up at the ass crack and high tailed it down the coast to Vila Real de Santo Antonio (which I would define as potentially quaint, commercialized, touristy, and grungy). We easily found the bus terminals, but no one who had heard of an Alsa bus line (even the other ticket agents). The only information we got was that in fact NO BUSES run from Vila Real to Sevilla on FAH-REAKING Sundays.

You might be thinking: "well what now", my dear reader, and to that I say for shame. Knowing the answer to that question is rule #1 for any traveler, especially when time and $$ are concerned. Rubbing our 6 domes (brains) together, we realized some key points: 1. We still had our rental cars - they were due to be dropped off later that afternoon in Vila Real. 2. The town of Ayamonte, Spain was only a 5 min drive away. 3. We had a better chance of finding a way from Spain to Spain, than from Portugal to Spain. 4. We had at least two people that could butcher Spanish, and no one who could butcher Portuguese.

So, away we went, pedal to the metal to Spain (no border guards wahoo - smoke em if you got em). Oh, and the travel gods were smiling on us my friends, and it was in the form of a four star hotel on the edge of Ayamonte. And now begins a tutorial in one of the easiest travel scams for any 20-30 something woman. First, throw a scarf around your neck (DO IT). Next, walk into any fancy hotel (larger is better), and head straight to the bathroom - you'll blend in more easily. Next, go to the front desk and state your problem - for us it was "we need a bus TODAY from Ayamonte to Sevilla." Make eye contact and don't be too nice, the concierge will simply assume you are a guest. Finally, let the concierge do the rest, they are trained in GD high class service.

ALLAKHAZAM, you'll be sitting in a cafe in Spain, drinking a beer in the sunshine, waiting for your bus to Sevilla. No joke. Harmless scam. For you reference we ended up getting a bus via the Damas bus company from Ayamonte.

P.s. Hotel Parador, Ayamonte- thanks for your services. No concierges were harmed in the execution of this scam.

B-b-b-b-b-uying Spree in the Souks!

Have you ever returned from a vacation and thought: "okay, so exactly what kind of crap souvenirs did I buy?" This thought just flashed through my mind as I unpacked all of my knick knacks aka trinkets aka chachskis from Morocco. In the heat of my buying binge deep in the souks of Marrakesh, I swore those bright little special somethings seemed like they were truly one of a kind, were made of real sterling silver, had never been duplicated, and would definitely be treasured by my great, great grandchildren. Why O why was I so focused on my next purchase, and not taking the opportunity to take in the smells and sites that were all around me?

Foreign lands will do that to you. Every single object you see holds the potential of a memory. The important thing is to not become the crazy bag lady of the country you are visiting, or have nothing but tagines to cuddle on early fall evenings.

(I don't have time to go to the gym, but hugging tagines, yes)

With that in mind, here are just a few tips for keeping your vacation souvenir spending in check. Ask yourself if you could potentially find or have actually seen that very item in a cart in your local mall, or being peddled by a street vendor downtown? Be honest with yourself. It's generally not worth the money if you didn't need to leave your own zip code to buy it. Also, is there a 95% chance that the item wasn't even manufactured in the city or country you are currently visiting. Yes, you can't know for sure, but one really easy move is to turn that sucker over. Is there a stamp that says "Made in China"? While it is potentially cool if you are actually in China, it isn't if you're in say, oh I don't know, Mexico (true story, didn't realize until I got home). Finally, do you actually have a spot in your house or apartment for this souvenir (or at least a friend to pawn it off on)? I disregarded this last tip, and now my new apartment could be mistaken for a Moroccan Kasbah (note the wee little camies standing guard).

Survivors of the Sands

After everyone in our group successfully dismounted their camels, we were welcomed into our lodging for the evening by our guides. I should mention that they do not actually ride camels on the journey out to the middle of the desert, but rather lead caravans across the "desert rocks" barefoot. I'll give credit where credit's due, and in my opinion, that was certainly an appropriate occasion.

In addition to the 6 of us and our guide, Ahmed, we were joined by 2 lovely British folks, Irene & Marshall, from the farm country of Spain. The moment we sat down for tea, Irene exclaimed that her "groinsy" hurt. I conclude, Irene.. I conclude. My lady parts would have been happy to have never seen the hump of a camel again.. unfortunately, we only had hours to adjust to the notion of the return trip. In the mean time, I think we were all set to chow down on our tagine dishes.



Note: This may come as a surprise, but there was not a water supply out in the middle of the desert. In fact, I think I might have actually seen a mirage of an over-sized Poland Spring bottle surrounded by giant cobras.. that were wading in a pool the size of the Playboy Mansion.. simply to add insult to injury. Randomly, several of us had brought what was left of our bottled waters, but it definitely wasn't enough to split and certainly did not satisfy the salivation. So- if you ever decide to do a camel trek, be prepared to pack some liquids.

The sun sets quite early in the desert, so after our attempt at climbing up a steep dune followed by our tagine snack-down, we were ready to hit the sand. Inside the tent or out under the stars? No-brainer. When else would I be snoozing in the Sahara? Probably not soon.. and if ever again, likely not by camel.. but if so, definitely with padded "ladies pants".

Sorry for exposing your rear-view, Burger.



Quick Desert Dos...

• Pack liquids, i.e. water
  
• Pack padded underroos
  
• Bring a small sack that you can wear on your back or attach to the camel harness containing necessary belongings
  
• Bring a head-scarf and clothing that will completely cover you to protect you from intrusive desert bugs
  
• Remember that there are zero man-made urination stations, and plan accordingly
  

Quick Desert Dont...

• Assume you've experienced something similar.. EVER
  

Any questions?

One Troopin' Traveler: Tips for Flying Solo

No, no.. I haven't assumed dictatorship over this blog, I just felt the need to address a topic that I recently came across on another travel blog about dealing with loneliness on the road.

It's inevitable that during at least one point in your life, you'll feel about the size of an ant.. as if you're the only living soul on earth.. and this can happen quite frequently to those that travel solo. Instead of wallowing in your sadness or self-pity, I'd suggest taking this as an opportunity to really get to know yourself on a deeper level. While this is, of course, easier said than done; if you're aware of your upcoming independent journey, then it should - at the very least - be a bit easier to mentally & emotionally prepare for the road that lies ahead.

During my last month in Paris, I was abruptly notified of the fact that my stay would be extended. I thought that was fantastic, until I realized that everyone else in my group would be leaving a few weeks prior. Instead of immediately embracing the opportunity, I chose to get angry and sad which helped me to successfully attract more negativity. Once I got over myself and acknowledged how childish I was acting, I decided to explore areas of the city that I'd kept putting off because of all the time I thought I still had. What fool [that was lucky enough to live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world] would consider this an unfortunate experience? While it truly may be more difficult to feel alone in today's technological world, I think that everyone can identify with that empty feeling. Surround yourself with all of the friends, family, & action you can handle, but there's still something in a Sunday.. The positive part about this empty feeling is that you can fill it! - Simply put.

How do you combat this feeling of loneliness?

• Identify your feeling and figure out why you're feeling hollow inside
  
• Embrace the feeling and channel it into a positive, rare opportunity
  
• Find a sense of purpose and appreciate the beauty in the experience you've been granted
  

If you're truly unable to deal with the solitude, then you can always turn to:

• Text messaging
  
• Emailing
  
• Telephoning
  
• Reading this blog
  

If you're not taking a solo trip in the near future, then try these techniques on any given Sunday.. I know I'll be putting them into practice tomorrow.

Canoe Trip Tips & Then Some

Or I suppose the "& then some" will actually precede the helpful tips.

Remember Splash Mountain? The ride at Disney World where you lazily float through an animated land of friendly forest creatures before you take a deep, yet exhilarating plunge down the side of the mountain? Yes.. you do? Well, my experience 2 miles in on the Saco was NOTHING like that..

To quickly relay the rest of the story, I worked out harder than I had since 1999 - literally. I could hear people yelling "JUST PUT YOUR FEET DOWN" from the sides of the river, but even with the whopping 2 feet of my condensed body rising above the water, the rapids were having their way with me. I felt like Forrest Gump - I just kept running.. yet it was far beyond my control. And did I mention that Carrie continued to battle the rapids with our canoe about another fourth of a mile down river? Thank goodness that she did.. otherwise, we would have missed out on the thunderstorm and beachside bellowing [read: sloshed singing] that our friends enjoyed later on in the day.

Anyway, as luck would have it, two of our friends were able to pull over into a cove that was being relatively unaffected by the rapids. All of the belongings that had fled our canoe ended up in this area, so they were able to recover mostly everything for us. I believe there was actually footage of our debacle captured, but that was destroyed.. or should have been. Why on earth would I want to publicize the 10 years of swimming lessons / swim team skills that were anything but obvious during this obstacle? Clearly, in the end, I was rescued. I had to grab onto another wishing tree sprouting up from the lake and was cast a rope from a kind stranger. Unfortunately, after he pulled me in, his rope remained stuck on one of the branches. I sat on my perch until he was able to make it back to the river bank, and then continued to tackle the Saco!

Canoe Trip Tips

• Call ahead for reservations > We used Northern Extremes in North Conway for our canoe rentals & I highly recommend them.
• Check weather forecast and the status of the river before beginning your journey > We were told that the river was running quickly that day, but clearly I had no idea as to what that actually meant.
• Familiarize yourself with the landscape and route of your particular trip > Though we weren't white water rafting, I felt like I was in "The River Wild" at times.
• Learn how to paddle ahead of time > I did not do this. It led to a few lovers quarrels along the way, but once we flirted with death, we swore we'd never argue again.
• Make sure that the stronger & more experienced person is in the back of the canoe > This is ideal for the person that doesn't want to consume as many adult beverages as the other person in the canoe.
• WEAR YOUR LIFE JACKET > Hindsight is always 20/20.
  

That's just a brief list and by no means authorized by any professional. If you have experienced similar situations out in the throes of nature, feel free to share your story!