Proxemics: Don't Stand So Close to Me

Space can be a very mysterious concept when it comes to interpreting body language across cultures. Personally, unless I'm dating you, sharing a very small bed with you, or clearly in distress, then I'd prefer that most people keep their distance. I don't think I'd classify myself as claustrophobic.. that may be a bit extreme.. but we'll just say that I prefer to go to the 11:30a movie on a Tuesday rather than the 7:30p show on a Saturday. For me, the distraction has more to do with all of the white noise than the volume of people within one area. If someone in that theater is snapping gum, whispering, or lightly tapping on an arm rest - FORGET IT, that's all I'll hear for the remainder of the film. Ask any roommate I've ever had.. I'm insane when it comes to small noises.

Anyway, in 1966 anthropologist Edward Hall introduced the term 'proxemics'. The word signifies set measurable distances between people as they're interacting. To quote Hall, "Like gravity, the influence of two bodies on each other is inversely proportional not only to the square of their distance, but possibly even the cube of the distance between them".

Here's the general chart of proxemics per Hall's delineations in regard to body spacing, posture, & unintentional reactions:

• Intimate distance: embracing, touching, whispering
  0 inches - 18 inches
  
• Personal distance: interactions among close friends
  1.5 feet - 4 feet
  
• Social distance: interactions among acquaintances
  4 feet - 12 feet
  
• Public distance: typically used for public speaking forums
  12 feet - 25+ feet
  

While these delineations are standards upheld by North Americans, it's important to note that they do vary according to different cultures. High-contact cultures maintain smaller relative distances when interacting. Latin, Arab, & Mediterranean cultures are more comfortable with a shorter amount of personal space. Conversely, low-contact cultures such as Nordic & Asian people prefer most interactions remain within Hall's social distance zone. In fact, low-contact cultures often prefer no contact at all as it can be viewed as intrusive (i.e. hand-shaking, light tap on the shoulder).

Of course, in all cultures, the degree of space is heavily determined by specific elements involved in each unique situation. Gender, circumstances, privacy, and comfort levels among many other factors can alter or determine an individual's reaction. I'm sure that - if given the opportunity - any one of us would prefer a private jet over a crowded airplane. The important thing to remember is that facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language can easily be misinterpreted across cultures. Developing your knowledge of cultural awareness in regard to space can help to eliminate discomfort, confusion, and anxiety that the person on the receiving end may be experiencing.

Recent NEST Plugs

Not to change the focus of this blog to all things NEST, but I did promise to reserve Fridays for plugging non profit organizations and companies promoting social responsibility. And being involved in one of many successful charitable causes, exposing its press is one of my civic duties, isn't it?

Check out the following sites & articles for recent NEST love:

• Design*Sponge
  
• O, The Oprah Magazine
  
• Country Living*
  

Unfortunately, the Country Living link does not direct to the specific article. My cooperative little iBook is having too much fun with trickery to allow me to grab the actual URL. And if I sit here and try to outsmart it, then Mr. iBook G4 (I know it's a man because who else would get me all worked up like this!) might find himself smashed through a glass coffee table.

Ahem, anyway, cheers to NEST & its recent accomplishments!

Rock the Kasbah: Ait Benhaddou Style

Kasbah. It's fun to say. Try it!

Although I made it to Ouarzazate & Ait Benhaddou before seeing either Lawrence of Arabia or Gladiator, I pretended that I was a huge fan of both films. It seemed like the appropriate American thing to do? To be quite honest, I still haven't seen "Lawrence of Arabia". It's on my list in between "Goonies" and "Pretty Woman". I'm clearly a movie buff.

Here are some quality kasbah snapshots for your viewing pleasure:




Looks like someone could use some more stairs.. hint.. self.



Moroccan Molly overseeing her village.




The scene was just so surreal. As was the camel trek across the Sahara. Simply put, Morocco is a must-see destination.

Eau de Cologne

I'm not trying to be redundant - I swear - YOU MUST NEVER spend a full seven days straight in Amsterdam. I'm not talking Holland, I'm talking Amsterdam. I think we finally hit our "wall" on day number 5, but I can't be 100% sure. All we can know for certain is that I found myself back at the Amsterdam Airport about to rent a car.

At the time we felt these screens looked like some futuristic world where society could only communicate through flashing signs and advertisements. I now look at this picture and think: "Molly, two coffees ain't gonna be enough. You are aware that you are actually going to drive the car, right?"

 

In typical fashion, we were given a Renault "Kangoo" as a rental car - a vehicle that you only receive if you are in National Lampoon's European Vacation, or the rental agent feels like messing with you. Liz and I weren't being followed by a film crew, so apparently we had a target on our foreheads.

Before we hop on the road, let's quickly assess the foolish mistakes that were made in the planning of this excursion:

1) One of us thought that it would be "really cool" to be able to say that we had visited both Holland and Germany.

2) Whoever DID NOT come up with the idea to go to Germany hailed the idea as true genius.

3) We had booked our hotel room for the entire week, making a day trip the only option, and destinations in Germany not overly plentiful (or at least not within the scope of our 15 minutes of planning - duh what big cities can we find on the map). I think historians of future generations may very well ponder what exactly was going through our minds that ruled out the Dutch countryside as a good option for a day-trip.

The one semi-un-foolish mistake of the trip was that we did in fact have a destination: Cologne, Germany. A city selected (again) for no particular reason other than the fact that we could pronounce the name, believed it to be where cologne originated, and appeared conveniently close on the Holland-Germany road map we had purchased the evening before. While the first two facts ended up being true, the latter, ummm, not so much....

While I am SUPER excited to be able to say that I have in fact driven 110 mph on an autobahn in Germany:

(For real - I pushed the Kangoo to its limit)

And Cologne is truly a quaint and enjoyable city with a gorgeous cathedral:

Trying to do a round trip from Amsterdam to Cologne will really stretch you too thin. The trip takes approximately 6 hours round trip without traffic and assuming you don't get lost - doable, but we got lost AND hit "rush" hour both ways. By the time we got to Cologne we really only had time to view the Cathedral, wander around the main square, look at the Rhine River, and then attempt to find some Jagermeister at a department store.

Lesson learned: If it's avoidable, don't spend your whole day on a highway in any country. Never mind the fact that in this case it is called an autobahn - it is still a highway, we have them in the States, and they look identical. I recommend at the very least sticking to side roads/scenic routes, and definitely not trying to over extend yourself. There is generally more than enough to see near your "home base". Ewww, I sound like my mom (love ya).

Please Excuse My A.D.D.

Dear Readers [& Blogger],

I apologize if my constant color changes are inducing seizures.. I'm not really falling for the design or color options that Blogger has to offer. Until my "colleagues" and I can schedule an official meeting of the minds, then this layout shifting could be quite frequent..

You've heard it here first: we may soon be switching over to another hosting service. Feel free to take guesses, if you please.

Sorry, Blogger. I don't think we should go steady anymore. It's not you, it's us. Though I don't think our decision is going to cause you much suffering.

Thank you for your services.. you little devil, you.

Sincerely,
Lil' Boozie

Photographers: Stop, Don't Shoot!

"Seriously, if you take that picture, I'm going to put a hex on you."

How many times have you been in the situation where you literally want to rip a camera out of someone's hands so hard that you're willing to sacrifice grace, dignity, and your physical well-being in exchange for a tiny electronic device? This tends to become an issue the morning after an inebriated evening. You wake up all jolly, just so excited to see all of the great memories that you've captured from the previous night's festivities, and then there it is. That first picture forever freezing you in all of your glory. And then comes the rationalization: But at the time, I definitely WAS a sexy vixen, right...Mom?

While there are many a moment where I've certainly regretted jumping into a polaroid or allowing friends to take a "hilarious" [read: humiliating] video of me in action, there were definitely measures I could have taken to prevent the inevitable [embarrassment] from being both recorded & released by the PapaRazzi. Additionally, while here in the good ole US of A, we just love to razz one another for a good laugh at each other's expense, it can be a very different story abroad.

Regardless of where you may be traveling, it's absolutely vital to ask permission before photographing anything, especially people. While photography certainly boasts a plethora of advantages including sharing the world with others & capturing memories, it can be viewed as intrusive by those that know nothing about you. Asking permission is just a common courtesy that is well received anywhere - it helps to boost confidence & to connect with others. Believe it or not, in some places, taking pictures of people translates to stealing their souls. Unsolicited photography may also render people inferior, as if they're just another monument, piece of scenery, or animal. It is imperative to be open-minded when it comes to photographing abroad, and to thank your subject whether s/he allows you to take the picture or not. Additionally, don't be too hasty to photograph in international airports. Just follow the literal interpretation of these two words, "Ask" "Permission", and you should be golden.

For more specific information on this subject, Darren Rowse provides solid advice in his post "Asking Permission to Photograph People".

World AIDS Day 2008

Did you know..

• There are over 900 children under the age of 15 living with HIV in the UK?
  
• There are much higher rates of people with HIV in prison than in the general population?
  
• That in 2007, less people were able to identify how HIV is transmitted than in 2000?
  
• That last year 330,000 children died of HIV/AIDS?
  

I'd be lying if I said that I knew all of this..



If it weren't for BlogCatalog or the Boston Celtics, then I'm not sure when I'd have been made aware of World Aids Day. It certainly wasn't mainstream media. And this, my friends, is yet another reason why blogging is a very powerful medium. To find out more about how you can support those suffering with HIV/Aids, please visit WorldAidsDay.org.